Week 11 Blog Post
“To you who are
parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make
certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know.” – Thomas S.
Monson
This week in class we talked about parenting. We started out
by discussing active parenting. A question he made us ask ourselves was “What
do I hope to accomplish through parenting?” Here are the things I wrote down;
· - Raise children who have good values and morals
· - Created a safe and secure relationship with my
children
· - Parent with love
· - Provide a safe home where they feel loved and
accepted no matter what.
· -Let them know that it is okay to make mistakes.
· -Allow them to make mistakes. This is how they
will learn
· -Make sure they feel listened to and validated
· -Help them create a good self-esteem and self-worth
When seriously dating someone you are considering marrying,
I think it would be wise to talk about each other’s parenting goals and
techniques and make sure they align for the most part.
One thing my professor pointed out is that oftentimes our perceptions
of God align with out parents. If our parents were harsh and cold and didn’t
offer much love and support that is how we will view God. How do we want our children
viewing God? We should be warm and loving and understanding and offer our
support. We went our children to have a good relationship and positive view of
God as their father.
Something that my professor said that I really liked was;
“You are always teaching by example, especially when you’re
not.”
What does this mean to you?
Children have 5 basic needs. They are;
1. Contact/
belonging (a lack of physical contact or sense of belonging leads to developmental
issues.) When children don’t get the needs of human contact met, they take
mistaken approaches.
2. Power-
the ability to influence their own world and make choices.
3. Withdrawal-
children need the ability to take breaks
4. Challenge-
5. Protection
What should be the parental
approach when trying to meet these needs?
- - Offer contact freely to your children
- - Teach children to contribute
- -Response ability= choices + consequences
- -Teach children to take a break. Work together
and break together.
- -Brain development relies on experiencing
consequences of their own choices
- -Skill building
Another quote from class that really wraps up this part of my
post is;
“You can never get enough of what you don’t need because what
you don’t need won’t satisfy you.”
This applies to children and their needs because if they aren’t
getting their needs met, they will look elsewhere to get those fulfilled.
Oftentimes the places they look for those needs to be met in other places that
could be more harmful to them. Make sure you pay attention to your specific child’s
needs and try and meet them.
A good point my teacher made was even us as adults have
certain needs, such as contact, love, hunger, and thirst. When these needs aren’t
being met, we tend to look other places to satisfy that. If I am not getting
any human contact, I may look for a NCMO, or a one-night thing with someone
just to get that need met. The example my professor gave was oftentimes we think
we are hungry so we begin snacking on things and then we eventually realize
that we were just thirsty. We have to pay attention to our own specific needs
and make sure they are being met for own well-being.