Preparing for Marriage
This week we talked about marriage. Now I’m not married so
my knowledge of this subject is minimal but there were a lot of good comments
and things discussed in class this week that I really am wanting to share. I
think anyone can benefit from knowing these things, whether you are married or
not. We started off by asking the question, “How can you prepare for marriage?”
I really like a comment that my classmate made. He basically said that anything
good you do will prepare you for marriage. Marriage is selfless service, love,
compassion, compromise, and hard work. Anything that you do now that involves
any of those things will prepare you to be with your love and for marriage.
What things do we look for in a partner? Here is a list of things
that typically attracts us to someone else.
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Age
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Personal traits
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Physical appearance
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Financial status
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Education
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Lifestyle
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Personal relationships
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Sexual looks/behaviors
What drew you to your partner? Or if your single, what are
you typically attracted to? What draws you in? My professor discussed how we
often look for commonalities in partners. Something that looks or feels
familiar to us. Have you ever heard how women tend to date someone who
resembles their father? This is kind of that concept. Another thing we talked
about is how in the past, interracial marriage used to be looked down upon.
Although now it isn’t as much as a controversy, there are still reasons behind dating
someone of a different race might lead to difficulties in marriage. A few examples
are different customs, culture, lifestyle and beliefs. It’s not impossible, but
it can be a stressor if you have so many differences.
In today’s culture,
people tend to date on their own schedule. They want something that is casual or
convenient. No one wants to go out of their way to pursue a potential relationship.
If it inconveniences them it’s not worth it. I think that because of this mindset,
so many opportunities are missed to get to know someone that you may really connect
with.
What is the
know-quotient? These are the three thing that need to happen for you to really
get to know someone. They are togetherness, talk, and time. Those are the three
things that are so important in a relationship and really knowing someone. Time
is a big one in the Mormon dating culture. It isn’t uncommon for people to get
married so soon after dating. Studies have shown that it usually takes about 3
months for someone to show them true selves. When you start dating someone you
want to put on your best self, and it’s kind of a front. Those walls take
around 3 months to come down. That is when your true colors really come through.
That is why it’s important to not get married so fast. You want to make sure
that the person they are portraying themselves to be is really who they are.
You don’t want their true selves to start showing after you are already married.
Going along with this, when we meet someone we really like, we get intoxicated
by the way we feel around them. The term “drunk on love” can explain this. When
we are drunk on someone’s love, it can make it hard to see any red flags that
may be there. This is why having time apart is crucial. You need time to step
back and analyze the relationship with a clear head. It’s not healthy to spend
every second of your time together.
These are just my two cents on marriage, and my favorite
points brought up in class. What are your thoughts?
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